Unconscious influence

I am a father of two boys, yes I know, I have no need for a gym. The boys keep me busy, they are creative, energetic fun and loud, they know how to keep me young. The best thing about the boys is the worst thing about their behave, they have no boundaries. My kids can be like a freight train, they will steam roll anything in their path if you do not hold them back and pull the brake for them. I love that quality because I know they will be hard to bully if anyone tries it on them however I am afraid they will be too strong a personality which can come off as bullying. Tricky I know. Everyday I come up with ways to deal with the energy and sugar highs, it’s a continual challenge but I manage, well, my wife helps me manage.

Today I ran an errand for a friend, I was alone, which is rare as I spend as much time as I can on any weekend with my family. I drove across the border, I literally live 20 minutes from Washington State and so I can afford casual outings in The States. On my drive this afternoon something hit me, I did not ever get training for how to raise kids yet I have two and I am sure I do a great job because they are alive and well. How and where did I get the know how, what is my source of parenting, why do I react the way I do and is my approach the best? I asked myself all these questions, I was so deep in thought looking for a profound answer when it hit me. It was my aha moment, it was as clear as water in a glass, whatever was around me and whoever spoke to me growing up and what I saw and how I was raised has some bearing in how I treat my kids.

From the day my first-born came out of his hiding place aka his mothers belly, I have read books, watched programmes, attend conferences and asked other parents how best to raise my kids. I can see that it’s a constant balancing act, I do not want to be what my parents were to the boys yet I find at times I sound like my father. I can hear my father speak through me yet its me talking and not to myself but to my boys. My father used his belt once, my mom must have used everything she can lay her hands on a billion times over. I was such a handful, I learnt what not to do pretty fast because of how I never wanted to have my mom say the most scary words of my life “Meet me in my room, we need to chat after the news” I always watched the news with my dad and so my mom respected our moments enough to spark me after my “dad-son” moment. My mother spoke a lot, screamed a lot, spanked a lot and that all was her way to parent. My dad was a unique, he had the best tool in the world to whip me into shape, his advice. I know, my dad always knew what to say to get me out of my troubles, what to say to pick up my spirits, what to say to get me back focused and what to say just to get me back on track. He was my first inspiration to be a speaker yet he never did it in public, he was my personal coach.

Words are powerful, they can create a future that is bright of create misery and pain. Looking back, it was the words that I heard which stayed with me longer than anything. I can recall what my father told me about many situation, I recall the negative words my teachers said about me, the dreadful things my bullies said and any and every prophesy on my life. I had choices to make, I chose to make a life for me, I chose to see the good in the bad that was said about me and chose the good things as my spring-board to even better. Words that were spoken about kids, words I have read and heard have become a part of my core because words are powerful. They have a way to push a person to take their own life, they have a way to cause a poor men to become rich, they are powerful beyond measure.

Pt 2 of this article to follow, stayed tuned

Comments
2 Responses to “Unconscious influence”
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  2. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for your next post thanks once again.

    Like

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