Speak your mind

Posted by Isaac on October 27, 2013 · 228 Comments 

So I’m sitting in a corner drinking my tea in Starbucks when what looks to be a middle aged gentleman comes to join me. I causally lift my head and gently nod to acknowledge him and he sits down. A few seconds go by before I hear what sounds like a gang of very happy men come to our table pulling chairs and making themselves comfortable, I am part of the gang by default.

After everyone had a seat, we numbered about 8, the guy who had come first says to me “sorry to disturb your peace but we thought you needed company” I laugh out loud, literally, “you getting me coffee too or what” I sarcastically respond. I don’t know how but 10minutes later we are talking about kids and marriage.

The consensus around the table was that kids will stop you from achieving your goals and the best thing you can do is not have kids. I must be honest, I was fuming inside and so angry that a bunch of grown men would utter such stupid comments. I swallowed my anger and decided to approach it in a different manner, I had to use my head and speak not to be heard but to address my opinion without judging and sounding like a drunken school boy having a rant.

I had three questions that I thought were a must before I gave my opinion, I sipped my tea then asked “are you all in agreement that kids are a distraction to your goals and that you all wish you could have finished your educational goals before having the kids and finally where are you all coming from?”. I have never seen a group of men all have the exact same face and have no words come out for what seemed a long time. I broke the silence and asked the same questions again, this time a little slowly.

Only a few guys were vocal, the rest were mumbling under their breath. They asked where I was going with my questions to which I answered “you all can find time to watch your TV shows, go play hockey, meet for a boys get together and whatever else you do but cannot be fathers and study at the same time, do you not find that to be little off?” The silence was deafening at that point. I had the last sip of my tea then I cleared my throat and said “I worry that you would have children and not adjust your lives to reflect that huge commitment, you seem to want everything to do with the kids to change to suit your old life style instead of shaping your life to the new reality which is the kid. I expect you to adjust somethings in your life so that you can both reach your goals while still being the dad and husband that you want to be. Have you ever thought about giving up TV program so you can take Online courses?” No one answered but I could tell they were thinking, I got up and said good bye, I did not need to say anything else.

Walking away from that table I thought to myself what on earth did I just do, if these guys feel insulted they can follow me outside and kick the living daylights out of me and just as I was about to get in my car I heard someone call and say “dude I need your number, I think you had darn good stuff to say” I felt good, sometimes it is worth voicing your opinion even in the strangest of settings, just might help someone.

Filed under Anatomy of Success · Tagged with Isaac Madengu, mind, opinion, speak, success, vocal