Basics for happiness in your marriage

Like any coach who has been given the task of building a strong successful championship team, the first thing he/she does is introduce the tactics that he will use, his philosophy and game plan. Many call that the coaches signature and stamp or style. The coach does not design the team on the field of play but in practice, while the opponents are not there, when they are no supporters or booing opposition fans, he designs & structures the team, he gives his team shape, vision, mission and structure.

Like any coach you have to plan your marriage and the form and structure you want for it before you have it. I am assuming that by the time you got married you had done your homework as to why you want to get married, to whom and that you saw forever when you made the decision to get married. Now that you are here, married and with your life partner, here are some little helpers that make sure you keep the fire burning. For any team to win, the team has to have a foundation, basics that they do everyday that keep that team together and going.

Have A What We Stand For Statement Your Marriage

My wife & made it our life’s mission to stand for a strong, God-fearing, loving family. Personally my mission is to see a smile on my wife’s face every single day of her life.

Make God A Partner In Your Marriage

Let everything you do go through God. Do not make yourselves King & Queen and forget that God is the one who designed marriage so that means he knows more than you do about it. Never let God be a stranger to your marriage.

Love To Serve Your Partner

Marriage is a partnership, you are on the same team and as such always seek to give your partner the advantage. Be the first to offer to help, things like cooking, clearing dishes, cleaning the house, breakfast in bed are all little but they keep the fire burning red-hot. Always seek to serve not to be served first.

Keep Dating Each Other

Remember when you were boyfriend and girlfriend who you loved going to the movies, how you loved walking on the beach and talking on the phone for hours. You were excited to spend the day just driving in the Country, having small talk about anything and everything, well keep doing it. Dating does not end when you get married, it should be amplified. Do more, buy her flowers because it’s a Tuesday, take her to the movies because it’s a Friday, buy him his favourite juice because it’s a Sunday, just keep the dating going, it strengthens the marriage.

Create Never Vows & Live By Them

When we got married, we made vows. I remember her telling me that where I go she will go, my people shall be her people, for better for worse, in riches and in poverty she will be by my side. We take those vows very serious but we went a step further and made other vows for our marriage that we always live by. They are simple but effective, we made them in case of a heated argument, namely

– I am not more important than us

– I will not seek to hurt you by my words so I feel better

– I will not slam a door in your face

– I will never walk away from a conversation

– I will never raise a threatening voice to you

– I will always seek to understand than to be understood

– No matter how bad it gets, divorce is not an option

Great marriages are not an accident & do not just happens, someone took their time to invest in their marriage and they are deliberate about what they do to make sure the marriage is strong every single day. It does not end on your wedding day, it only begins and you have to make an effort even when you do not feel like it because love is not a feeling, it’s a choice.

One Response to “Basics for happiness in your marriage”
  1. Pat says:

    Oh my dear ,this is amazing ,i love it ,well said sir…keep them coming please!!!!


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